My heart is pounding, pounding, pounding.

It’s hard to be both carefree and careful simultaneously. Really hard.

Thanks are in order for a certain Rick Maher for introducing me to my newest music love interest, Imogen Heap. I love her. Especially her songs “Headlock,” “Goodnight and Go” and “Hide and Seek.” I’ve been listening to her for weeks and weeks. Now, if only I could pronounce her name correctly. Ha ha. Just thought of something: Sufjan Stevens and Imogen Heap should get together. Or Paolo Nutini!

Dare to be yourself.

“You possess ‘Ness.'” Remember that, Lauren? “Ness” is a word for a characteristic you can’t really describe. You know what it is, but you don’t know how to put it into words. The best I can do is say that if someone possesses Ness, it means he or she has substance. It’s almost equivalent to my saying “You’re really something.”

I used to think you had to know somebody like the back of your hand to really be in love, for it to be the real thing. But that’s stupid. Figuring somebody out isn’t the beginning. It’s the journey. I want to go on that journey. And, oh, what a journey it will be.

A favorite question to ask is, do you believe in soul mates? It’s usually answered with a “Yes, I do” or “No, I don’t.” But I don’t think it’s really that straightforward. I don’t think anybody is really answering the same question. It’s open to interpretation, like religion.

Everybody’s heard it: “Somebody is out there just for you.” Well, it would be nice. Nice and impossible.

I like what the dictionary gives us. It’s more realistic than idealistic.

soul mate
n. 1. A person with whom one has a strong affinity. 2. A person who is perfectly suited to another in temperment. 3. A person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs <ideological soul mates> 4. One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity. [1815-1825]

I want that strong affinity, that connection. I want to be intrigued and be intriguing. Me fascinas.

My friend Luke made his own videogame blogging Web site. It’s http://www.GeekFortress.com. Anybody who loves videogames should check it out. Actually, anybody who has or would like to someday work for Nintendo should check it out. How ’bout that! I think it’s some of his best blogging. Plus, he’s got a comic strip, contests, guest posts and GeekFortress.com merchandise.

Robot!

I want to paint. Tegan Quin, of the Canadian duo Tegan and Sara, submitted an original painting for The Kidney Foundation’s Brush of Hope campaign last week. She posted a bulletin urging Myspacers to bid on the painting and support the cause. Sorry to say, I didn’t bid on her painting. But it did get me thinking that I’d really like to try my hand at painting.

Observation: There sure are a lot of phallic-looking objects in the world. I was peeling carrots for bean soup the other day and started making a list: Carrots, of course. Guitars. Think about it. Bananas. Popsicles. Candlesticks. My flute. Don’t even need to go to band camp. Etc. However, there aren’t a lot of things that look like vaginas. At least, not that I can think of. Unless you count that photo of a tub of butter that’s been floating around the Internet for years.

I had my first job Interview on Tuesday! For the arts and entertainment slash education reporter position at the weekly newspaper the Sequim Gazette. I survived two cuts! It’s pretty flattering. Mary Powell, the managing editor, said about 100 others applied and that I was one of the 10 finalists. She’s looking to hire a western Washingtonian that’s fresh out of college. I guess most of the applicants were from out East. What’s funny is during the interview, she said she hadn’t read any of my clips yet because she couldn’t open the zip file on her computer. I sent them again. I wonder what she’ll think when she actually reads my work. Next step: a visit to Sequim for a second interview in December.

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