I feel empty.

I think I’ve figured out why: The one thing I need in my life is intimacy. Intimacy of any kind, really. Be it with friends, family, or significant other. Be it talking, listening, or something more. I just need it– and these days I’m not getting enough. (I wonder if I’ve ever had enough. I wonder if it’s my fault.)

I need to feel close to people. To feel connected and comfortable. To feel as if I’m a part of something. To feel needed and important. To feel as if they understand me. To feel as if they accept me. To feel as if they love me. I’ve got so much love to give– just, please, love me too.

Now, please don’t misunderstand all this: I’m a very happy person. Probably one of the most postive people you will ever meet. I smile too much. It’s just that I’m also very complex. My mind is always going. Somedays I’ll get to thinking too much about who I am, what I want, and where I’m going in life, and emotions get a little overwhelming. When it gets overwhelming I have to write. Write it out of my system. Then read over it, understand why I feel the way I do, have others understand the way I think (that’s the beauty of blogs), reflect, and make changes.

Maybe I just need to get out more.

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