I don’t like riding the Community Transit bus on Saturdays. It’s just plain creepy. I think I’ll invest in some mace and practice not making eye contact. Oh, I’m sure I’m overreacting. And it can’t be as bad on the weekdays.

Last time I got stuck at Ash Way listening to a (some-what creepy) guy recite poems. He came over and asked if I’d like to hear a poem. He then read a poem of his called “The Sea of Forgiveness.” It was actually a pretty good poem. But, then he read two more. (Ah, yes, those were good too.) Then he recited a few from memory. It was just a little awkward. Just a little. (Okay, are you done yet?)

He wasn’t done. He then recited a quote of the day. I was thinking it was one of those things you find on the Internet. I was thinking okay. He did it in the funniest voice you could imagine. (Or pretty close to the funniest one.) It was like he was a guy on a stupid commercial. You know the voice. Yeah. It was hard holding back a laugh. (Okay, are you done yet?)

No. He then recited a riddle. He said, “Let’s say you’re stuck in a room with no windows and no doors. Inside the room is a mirror and a coffee table. Nothing else. How do you get out?” I didn’t know. He said, “Come on now young one.” I thought some more. Then he explained, “You look in the mirror. You see what you saw. You take that saw and you saw the table in half. Two halves make a whole. You climb through the hole.” (Ah, ha. Clever.)

And after a few stories about how he goes door-to-door selling pizza coupons, how he mistakenly gets arrested by the police, and how he no longer does drugs, he left. He must have just really wanted an audience.

This time around I didn’t get stuck listening to some guy recite poems. (Whew.) This time I talked a little bit to a girl about my age. She said it was a good idea to get some mace. I’m going to.

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